Tom Brady Retires From Retiring
7x Super Bowl Champ Returns To Football After Upsetting Gisele’s Feng Shui
TAMPA (AP) — Until this morning, Tom Brady was “happy” with his decision to retire and looked forward to “doing things other than playing football.” Yet, he also said “never say never” when asked about potentially returning to the NFL next season. Well, anyone who said “never” is dead wrong today!
Tom Brady is returning to NFL and will re-join the Tampa Bay Buccaneers football team. According to inside sources, the reason might be different than you think. On an episode of the “Hot Dirty Bräts and Football” podcast last week, Brady dropped his first hint that un-retirement might be in his cards.
“I’m just going to take things as they come. I think that’s the best way to put it, and I don’t think anything is off the table,” Brady told podcast host Lemon Tater. “At the same time, I know that… well, my wife hasn’t been feeling great about my decision to retire, and she’s mentioned multiple times that I might be ruining her feng shui. So, I don’t know. She makes me feel very small in regard to my opinions on style and design.
“I try to make the best possible decisions I can in the moment, but she’s all over my a** about how paisley shirts don’t go with striped pants, and that “I don’t need to buy any more coffee tables.” Again, I think it’s not looking to reverse course. I’m definitely not looking to do that. But in the same time, I think I have to be realistic that I’m facing some real domestic challenges here. I loved playing. My wife was never on my a** when I was playing. That’s as honest as I can be with you there.”
The comments by Brady, who is still under contract with the Bucs came on the one-year anniversary of winning the Super Bowl with Tampa Bay.
Brady, 44, said his decision to retire after 22 NFL seasons wasn’t about age or injury. In 2021, he produced one of the best seasons of his career, leading the NFL in passing attempts, completions, passing yards and passing touchdowns as the Bucs won the NFC South title.
Brady said bass fishing played a large role in his decision. He and his boat The Salty Swallow celebrated 12 years together last week. Brady has said in the past that although he loves having a pole in his hand and does so constantly, he’s also never caught a fish — something he’s desperately been trying to do.
“I think the choice is, everything certainly comes at a cost, and the cost is, ‘What am I missing out on other aspects of my life?’” Brady said in his first public comments about his initial decision to retire. “As you get older, you experience things like bass fishing that demand the level of attention and energy that football has always gotten. It’s time for me to commit to these types of things.
Brady’s wife Gisele Bundchen mentioned that she has turned down numerous professional opportunities to care for their family. They have two children, Benjamin, 12, and Vivian, 9. Initially, retirement gave the Brazilian fashion model to focus on her hobbies, such as geocaching and beetle fighting.
“With Tom home full time, it was draining constantly finding dip spit containers in the freezer and cum rags hidden everywhere. It’s really upset my ability to focus on my hobbies, such as geocaching and beetle fighting.
“Also, Tom bought thirty-nine coffee tables over the past month. Our living room looks like an IKEA bukkake!”
Tom Brady’s decision to return to football came on March 13, 2022, as reported by ESPN’s Atom Shifter. A press conference followed with the All-Pro quarterback explaining his comeback.
“A lot of things have come up over the last month of my life — I tried pole dancing, my mother volunteered to fight the Russians in Ukraine, I just found out Taco Bell discontinued the Mexican pizza — as I’ve got closer to this decision. In the end, it feels like the right time to return to the sport because the outside world is a horrendous place full of meanies, and the only place people are nice to me is the NFL. So, I am really excited for what’s ahead, and I don’t know what that means, but I know that it’ll be fun and exciting to be in the locker room with my guys again. I sure have missed secretly checking out Gronk’s hog in the showers…”
